Birth of Murphy Lain

As I sit here writing this, I am overcome with so many emotions. Our labor, birth and delivery didn’t go anywhere close to how we had planned. It was long, it was messy, it was hard, but it truly had the sweetest ending. I want to be open and honest: I’m going to be real, raw and the images contain full nudity. This is birth, my son’s birth.

I also need to give the biggest shout-out to our birth team. We had 2 incredible midwives that made an impossible situation the best it could be. We were in the best hands with Julia and Liz from MidValley Birthing Services. Along with midwives, we had additional support from our wonderful Doula, Erin Glogau. Lastly, we were so lucky to have 2 incredible photographers, Amanda Jae Photography and Lacey White Photo Co. They captured as much of our labor as they possibly could and I will forever be so thankful for those images.

Friday, April 10th we woke up like any other day, except that day was our due date. Jon and I laid in bed joking that the baby was too comfy in there and we needed to start bugging it to get out. Jon blew raspberries on my belly and kept telling baby “GET OUT!” We snuggled and giggled over how ridiculous we were. After awhile Jon headed upstairs to start work and I ran to In-N-Out to get us some breakfast. What better way to celebrate our due date then with a Double Double, Animal style. Around 10am, Jon and I sat on the couch eating our breakfast and out of nowhere I felt a gush. I looked at Jon, shocked, and said “I think my water just broke…. Or I peed myself”. We both sat there, looking at each other, unsure of what to do. Finally, Jon got me off the couch and to the bathroom where I called my midwife to let her know we thought my water had broken. Because I tested positive for Group Strep B I needed to be started on medication and have a new round of IV medication every 4 hours until baby was born.

While we waited for our midwife to arrive, I took what I expected to be my final, enjoyable shower. Cleaned the house, and wandered around aimlessly. I felt like I was in a state of limbo. Around noon, our midwife arrived, checked mine and baby’s vitals and began our first dose of medication. I was having contractions but they were very mild, hardly even noticeable. Julia (our main midwife) had brought over some herbs for me to start and gave us a game plan. I was to take the herbs every half hour, go on a long walk and pump for 2 hours. We did just that. The day progressed, contractions came and went. We saw Julia every 4 hours for my round of medication and to check our vitals. I had called my mom and asked her to come over and walk with me, I also really wanted her to be able to lay hands on me and pray for a safe delivery.

In the early afternoon, Jon and I laid down to snuggle, kiss and try to get oxytocin flowing. After about a half hour of being intimate, contractions had picked up and it was time for Julia to come back and do her process once again. Jon ordered us some spicy Thai food for dinner (We had the BEST crab rangoon too) thinking it would assist in the contractions. We watched Black Hawk Down, ate and continued to labor. Contractions were very irregular but coming on strong. I labored on my yoga ball and tried doing figure-eights with my hips to help baby get lower in my pelvis. At one point, a Doja Cat song came on, I did a silly dance on my ball and called it a night.

Jon and I went to bed knowing I probably wouldn’t get much rest, I had to wake up at 1am for Julia to give me an 8 hour dose of medication and hope that contractions picked up more. Through the night I’d have contractions I had to moan through, they remained irregular but their strength was growing. After my 1am dose of medication I struggled falling back asleep. My girlfriend Cheyenne was texting me for updates and I expressed my concern to her about contractions not getting closer together and my fear of a transfer. She coached me through fears and told me to get some rest. Around 2:30am my mind started to spiral. Contractions were spacing further apart and I let my fear get the best of me. I started crying and melting down, Jon woke up and held me, trying to talk me down and remind me I’m doing everything I can to keep contractions going. He suggested a shower may help relax me enough to sleep. I laid in bed for awhile tossing and turning, contractions would come and wake me every time I’d start to fall asleep, I didn’t mind at all just as long as I continued to contract.

Around 7am I couldn’t rest anymore, laying around made me crazy and I needed to feel productive. I moved back to my yoga ball and started to pump again. At this point contractions had really died down and I needed them to pick back up. Jon made us breakfast, I bounced away. After 9am Julia came back, did the usual meds & vitals and wanted to discuss how I was feeling. She could see I was struggling. Nearly 24 hours in labor and making what felt like no progress. I cried as I expressed my exhaustion, frustration and fears of things not progressing. She reassured me that I was doing everything right and reviewed my options along with how low our chance was of infection at this point. Once your water breaks, the risk of infection rises with each hour that passes. Julia asked if I was open to trying Castor Oil and at this point I would have tried anything. She gave me instructions on what to do and said she’d be back at 2 if we didn’t need her before then.

I now had something to do, 2tbs of Castor Oil in juice with hot tea to wash down after, 30 minutes later another 1tbs and then again 30 minutes after that. Jon and I went on another walk and contractions started to happen again. We got home, I moved back to my ball and began to pump once again. It was around noon and I had asked my girlfriend and photographer Lacey to come over, braid my hair and lift my spirits. She did just that. Shortly after arriving my contractions had really picked up, they were coming every 4ish minutes and lasting about 45 seconds to a minute long. They went from basically non-existent to me needing to focus and moan through them. I tried to eat a little lunch but food was the last thing I wanted. We knew it could still be awhile, Lacey decided to go get her kiddos situated, grab some food and wait for the call to come back.

Once Lacey left I decided I’d lay down and try to get some rest, things were picking up and I knew we could be in for a long day/night. Once I laid down, things got more intense. I couldn’t rest and found laying down to be incredibly uncomfortable. I asked Jon to bring my yoga ball into the bedroom so I could sit/bounce on it and then lean over the edge of the bed and rest between contractions. I had been in constant communication with Amanda, Lacey & Erin in a group chat and let them all know things were starting to progress. My contractions were about 3 mins apart and lasting a minute long. Erin texted my privately and we let her know we were ready for her to head our way. Around 1:40, Erin texted the girls to let them know contractions were right on top of each other and to be ready to come over right at 2, when Julia was suppose to be back. Both Lacey and Amanda decided to leave right then. Lacey arrived first, right before Julia. It felt so comforting having close friends there. Julia started my next dose, took vitals and requested to check me, “YES PLEASE!” came shooting out of my mouth. I was 6cm, 90% effaced and contractions had moved to 1.5-2 minutes apart.

After Julia checked me, I wanted to get relief in water, but due to the negative side effects of Castor Oil, the birth tub wasn’t an option yet. Jon took me to the shower and helped by applying counter pressure on my hips while I held the shower head on my belly. The warmth of the water was so soothing and provided some relief. Erin, our doula also hopped in the shower to help give me more relief. Sadly, I wasn’t able to stay in the shower long, constant trips to the toilet were a necessity. Contractions on the toilet were much harder than contractions anywhere else.

After the shower, I moved towards the bed hoping to find more comfortable positions. Contractions were coming on hard and quick but having so many friends there (Amanda had arrived by now) we were all laughing and everything felt so euphoric. I wanted to call my mom once again to have her pray over me. She started to pray just as a contraction came on, I began to moan through it, keeping low tones, when I hear my mom say “Breathe through it baby girl, HEE-HEE-WHOO”. I started to laugh during the contraction, as did everyone else in the room. It hurt like hell, but brought us all so much joy. I continued to labor in bed, leaning against our headboard. I was able to grip the headboard with Jon on one side of me and Erin on the other. They both gave me counter pressure while also holding a warm rice pack under my belly. Physically, it made each contraction easier, mentally I would think and tell myself “you’re not in pain, you are bringing your baby down into your pelvis” and it really helped. I would picture baby’s head dropping lower and lower with each contractions Everyone offered words of encouragement and the room felt full of power.

Around 4pm I started to have the urge to push, I was on my knees leaning over the headboard and my midwives said If I need to push to give it a go. I pushed for about 30-45 minutes (I think, I wasn’t watching the clock) and found so much strength inside myself with each one. I remember feeling no pain during pushing, I just struggled to find the right position. Leaning over the headboard didn’t feel right so I moved to laying on my back, that still didn’t feel right. I asked if I could try squatting, Julia asked if she could check me first and see where baby was. I agreed and screamed as her hand entered my body. She told me to stop pushing, that I was 9cm with a lip. I asked if I could still try squatting without the pushing and was so thrilled when she said absolutely.

I continued to labor, trying any position possible. I could feel baby’s head in my hip and it hurt worse than the contractions. My midwives and Doula suggested multiple positions from lunges, to squats, to laying on my side with my leg up. I found laying in bed to be the worst possible position for my pain, I screamed and howled with each one. Julia held my leg and with each contraction talked me through it, supplying words of affirmation and confirming “you can do this”. I stalled at 9cm for 4 hours. The contractions were one on top of the other. I struggled to catch my breath. I was at the point where I was begging for an epidural. I was puking and exhausted. Erin kept reminding me that it would still take a few hours to get me to the hospital and the epidural placed and that I would most likely have a baby in my arms by then. Julia checked baby’s vitals and told me I had to stand up straight. I couldn’t bend over between contractions anymore as it was effecting baby’s heart rate. I asked if I could finally get into the tub as my stomach had settled down. Julia and Liz started to get it set up and I continued to labor standing up, leaning on Jon and howling through each contraction. Standing in front of the window during sunset, I could feel the sun beating on my skin and it felt glorious. After a little time, I was finally able to get into the tub and found instant relief. I felt a rush of relaxation and rejuvenated. I could continue doing this!

The next part is a blur for me. I remember being in the birth tub while Julia was trying to listen to baby’s vitals. I had my eyes closed working through the contractions and heard Julia ask Liz “Can you get your doppler”. The next thing I know, Liz is walking back in the house on the phone and Julia is still trying to find baby’s heartbeat. There was so much chaos going on around me I didn't know how to feel. I heard the sirens coming and was being told to get out of the tub as someone was working to put a robe on me. I felt scared and confused. Was my baby alive? What was happening? Where is Jon? I was rushed out of the house and into an ambulance, off to Salem Hospital. In the ambulance I had to labor through contractions and kept asking “Is my baby ok?”, “Where is my husband?” The paramedics just kept asking me “Do you need to push?”. The ride to the hospital felt like it took forever. Once we arrived, I was so relieved when I saw Jon and told my baby has a heartbeat.

Once to Labor and Delivery, I screamed and begged to know what was going on. The room was flooded with people, strapping monitors to me, taking blood and hooking up IVs. The doctor walked in and we felt so much comfort seeing that it was the same doctor that treated us back in December when I was in a car accident. Jon pulled out our birth plan and went line by line with the doctor, and she took the time to go over each thing we wanted, why she could/couldn’t do it and where we were at. Dr. Card asked if she could check me and was kind enough to wait til my contraction ended. I was still 9cm with a lip, baby’s head was turned into my right hip. The anesthesiologist came in, placed an epidural. I physically felt great, but emotionally felt like I had failed. I had worked so long and so hard and caved. How could I make it so close and not be able to push myself to make it that 1 last centimeter.

I asked to lay on my side with a peanut ball, hoping that would help open my pelvis and get baby to rotate. The doctor explained that the way baby’s head was turned, it was most likely compressing the cord with each contraction, causing heart decelerations. With each contraction, baby’s heart rate would drop from the 120s into the 50s, baby would recover quickly which is why they allowed me to continue laboring. Once the epidural hit, I apologized profusely to our amazing nurse Katelyn, for yelling so much. She was so kind and gracious. Jon fiddled with my camera, getting settings right so he could take photos during pushing, but I insisted that when it came time he put the camera down and be in the moment when our child is born. The epidural made me incredibly itchy, they gave me some benadryl and I tried to relax. I remember laying there, room spinning and feeling drugged out.

After a few hours, Katelyn and Dr. Card came back in. At this point I had stalled at 9cm for 8.5 hours. Baby’s heartrate was still dipping. Dr. Card checked me and I was finally 10cm and baby’s head had rotated and was at a +2 station. We were so relieved! She asked me if I had the urge to push, I told her that I didn't and if baby was okay, I’d like to wait until I felt it to help conserve energy. She agreed and off she went. I asked Katelyn to help get me in the Throne position so that baby could drop lower into my pelvis. Jon laid down to try and rest, I sat and texted my birth team updating them on what was happening. Roughly 30 mins later, Katelyn came back in and informed us baby is having a harder time recovering after each contraction and if I could give her a practice push. I gave her one practice push, she got up and said “No more pushing, I’m getting the doctor. You’re having a baby!” Music to my ears!

Katelyn and Dr. Card came back in looking like they were ready for a space walk, air masks and all. Dr. Card asked me to push on the next contraction, I pushed with all my might. I wanted this baby out! After that contraction, the doctor looked at me and explained that she knew the last thing I wanted was a C-section, but that baby’s heart is really struggling and if I am unable to push him out quick enough, we may need to resort to the use of a vacuum or, something she never does, an episiotomy, to give baby more space. She explained that she would let me know if it came to that but wanted me to be as prepared as possible. I was so thankful that she had taken the time to explain and discuss the next steps ahead of time before they became emergent and gave me no time to process the facts. Jon was standing by the doctor ready to help deliver when the time came. 5 contractions later and my husband helped pull our child from my body, placing it on my chest. Eyes wide open it stared at me as I rubbed its back, sobbing over how beautiful my baby was. Jon lifted the legs and exclaimed “IT’S A BOY!”. With my son on my chest, and my husband by my side, we welcomed our son into this world. Jonathan Murphy Lain was here.